Old Spice Jesus

True story, I have a shameless love for these videos. I realize they're, like, years old at this point, but whatever. Old Spice has my business as long as Isaiah Mustafa keeps dressing up in that glorious towel. Fickle? Maybe. Ok, definitely. But it's so much fun that I honestly don't care.

This morning, I asked myself the question that has been keeping the entire Western world up at night since this video debuted: what would these commercials sound like if they aired in first-century Palestine? What if Jesus decided to borrow Isaiah Mustafa's glorious towel (thereby making it a Glorious Towel?) and used it to make his own sales pitch for following him?

I imagine it would have sounded a little like this.